Letters That Will Never Be Read: To My Parents

  Dear Mom and Dad,

  It's me - Gloria. But you don't know me by that name, only as Vulpix - your daughter. But it's still me.

  I don't really know why I'm writing this. You'll never read this letter, and it feels kind of silly now that I think about it. Roark might even tell me to stop doing this, to not sink myself deeper into these thoughts. But I felt like I needed to get all these feelings out somehow, and this felt the most natural to me.

  You're probably first wondering if I'm okay ever since the avalanche. I am, and it was all thanks to a Zoroark from the Rescue Society - my brother. You're probably shocked to hear that, but he is, and he always will be.

  He saved me when our cottage was destroyed. We ventured across the Glacier Peak Mountains to find you and find you both he did. Just not in the way I wanted him to. We were separated for some time, but he came back and left everything he had behind to give a little kit like me someone to cling to.

  I lost my parents but I gained a brother in return. I guess life has some strange ways to balance things.

  He told me about my name - Gloria - what it meant. It was the pursuit of glory, the calling of something greater. You know I've always wanted to become a part of the Glacier Guiders like you two. To become a hero; and have some other little girl look up to me and repeat the cycle until there was complete happiness in this world. It's childish now that I look back. But it meant a lot to me back then and it still does now. It made me happy - it still makes me happy.

  I took the name Gloria because I wanted that glory so bad, and I still do.

  But once Roark built a home for us in Empyrean City, I'm ashamed to say I didn't live up to the name 'Gloria'. Instead of getting out into the world, I buried myself in books of the concepts I desired, but always felt out of reach for me. I wanted to be that heroic Pokemon, but taking that first step seemed so impossible with all this unseen pressure and responsibility to prove myself.

  It wasn't his fault, and it wasn't yours either before. That's just who I am, and maybe who I always will be. Is that a bad thing? I always thought being shy and anxious was a bad thing, and Roark being so outgoing in contrast didn't make those feelings any better. But that's what makes us Pokemon, right? I don't feel so bad about who I was back then, just because I am who I am now.

  I think if Liam was reading that, he'd say it's really corny or sappy of me to think. Oh, I forgot to introduce him. I met Liam more than a year ago in the Sunshine Forest outside Empyrean. He was such an odd Riolu suffering from amnesia in the middle of the forest. Can you believe he didn't even know what a Mystery Dungeon was? I couldn't leave him there knowing he might get hurt or worse, so I brought him along with me back to Empyrean.

  I didn't know it at the time, but meeting him would throw my whole life off course. But looking back, I think it was for the better.

  Roark took a huge interest in Liam when I brought him to our house, which was a surprise. So much so that he wanted the both of us to enlist in the nearby world-famous guild when I barely knew Liam. It was a very tall order, but I knew Roark only wanted the best for me, and Liam as well if he was ever to recover his memory.

  So I agreed to it. The next year and a half would be the craziest times of my life, but also the most fun and fulfilling moments, too. We attended the premiere of this mysterious theater, saved an ambassador from impending doom, joined the guild, helped any Pokemon we could, and went on missions and expeditions across Celestic to figure out the world's secrets.

  There was so much to see, so much to do. You would've loved to see me here as much as you would've loved to see me in the Glacier Guiders. In a way, it still felt like doing my dream job just on a bigger scale. I've met so many new friends in the guild - ones you both would have loved to meet. Loved, wanted - it's so hard to write these words. It didn't feel so long ago when I watched you two put on your safety harnesses, kiss me on my forehead, and head off to work.

  Anyway, things were great. Liam was coming out of his shell much like I was trying to do. He became a lot more confident, adventurous, and reckless, much to my dismay. As much as I was happy for him, I was very envious of him. He had nothing in this world and knew nothing of it, but he still made something of himself in the guild. He was a strange Pokemon, but he's an amazing friend and a reliable partner in our exploration team - Team Requiem.

  But despite all we went through, I felt myself lagging behind all his progress. Garchomp from Team Drarosteel helped me hone my combat skills, but that didn't feel enough. I didn't feel worthy enough to be a hero.

  I needed a happy ending; something like in all the stories where the hero overcomes one final hurdle and cements themselves in legend. It didn't feel like I'd get that at the guild. But that's why they're stories and fiction - not reality. If I was able to blur the line between the two somehow, maybe I could get it for myself. And then I could finally be truly happy and satisfied for once.

  Our time in the guild wasn't to last, though. I was knocked unconscious during an expedition to the Criss-Cross River, and when I woke up, everything was in chaos. Our guild, our friends, our city - all gone in what felt like seconds. Even Liam was different, leaving me behind as he pursued our Guildmaster. I'll admit, I gave up after this point. Everything was collapsing around me, and it felt like those painfully long days back in the Lopunny Orphanage. My life had ended all over again.

  But Roark was there again to pick me up, show me the Ice Stone you gave me, tell me my worth to him, of the promises I made. He's a constant in my life, and I love him so much for bringing me back to what remained of our guild. Even if I didn't know it at the time.

  I was an enemy and prisoner of the Council soon after. The whole of Celestic looked to be against us, and my partner was being hunted down. Hope seemed so slim, but my brother held firm like he always did. We escaped from the Council with outside help but went to a place that sunk me even deeper into despair than any jail could.

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  We went home. The Glacier Peak Mountains. I thought we would arrive at a barren tundra with a few pines and a stray ruin from the past, but I was so wrong. Kyuris was there and still standing, like it was never destroyed. The buildings were the same but the Pokemon were different, but even they felt familiar in a way. Is that strange? And Cubchoo was there as well. But now she's a Beartic just like her dad, and she runs the village, too. I was so proud of her, and just when I was improving, that's when I encountered him.

  The ghost Zoroark. The very same one behind the avalanche and the same one you tracked down and got yourselves killed because of.

  Never in my life have I wanted to hurt a Pokemon, or Arceus forbid even entertain the thought of killing another. But at that moment - when the dots connected - I felt that monstrous urge. I'm so thankful others were there to pull me off him because I can't imagine what I would have done if I were to continue my assault. A violent Pokemon is not who I am. It's not who I want to be. It's the most shameful moment in my life.

  I thought I would never see him again, nor did I want to. But our greater goals didn't care for my desires, and so we crossed paths again. He was right by my side as we ventured through the Glacier Peak Palace - the destroyer of my village, the reason behind the deaths of you two and so many others in Kyuris. I had to stomach this for the sake of our mission, but even that I couldn't endure for long. He needed to know the pain that I went through because of him.

  So we talked. At first, I wanted him to listen, not to speak, just listen. I told him what he did to me - what he did to so many others. In my mind, any time I imagine confronting Zoroark, I imagine him denying it, playing down what he did. But he didn't. He took full responsibility for it. My own brother gave him the inspiration he needed to return to Kyuris and help rebuild it, help rebuild the Rescue Society.

  My heart was at odds with my mind. I wanted to forgive him and put all these awful memories to rest. But he didn't even ask for forgiveness, only that I hoped he could change for good like any other outlaw we put to justice. That was something I could do, something that felt tangible. We weren't friends, and maybe we never will be, but I had faith he could be a good Pokemon. I still even think that in our Guildmaster, and that there's a good Pokemon behind his actions, but Liam doesn't seem to agree.

  At the end of our mission, we came face to face with Kyurem. Yes, that Kyurem. And I fought him. I fought him with everything that I had, everything that I had to give. It felt like this battle between us was the culmination of my entire journey thus far. And I overcame him. I beat Kyurem and he gave us the knowledge we needed. He's actually a pretty nice guy, and he doesn't actually eat Pokemon (thankfully). He wasn't a monster like we thought he was. I suppose Zoroark and he are similar in that regard.

  After everything that happened, Roark held the Ice Stone he kept with him the entire time, and I touched it. I evolved in that moment, not just literally, but mentally as well. He put it best: I'm not a little girl anymore - I'm a woman. I'm in charge of my own destiny and my promises to you, to Roark, to the whole world that I'll become the hero I always dreamed of being. It reminds me of a passage from The Lucky Tale - the book I begged mom to read to me almost every night before bed.

  '... and Vulpix knew laying behind the sorrows and her feet, extending her paw out to Volcanion in reverence, was the right thing to do. She smiled in the face of his adversity, basked in these feelings of soaring pride.'

  The worst is behind us, I know it. And even if the road is long, dark, and treacherous, I know where we are going. Will the world be better than how it was on those dusky nights in our cabin, watching the stars and auroras? I don't know that, but I do know that we will be fine. I'm still not complete; I'm still not the Pokemon others should look up to, but I'm getting there, and I'll be fine. That's really what this whole letter is about; letting you both know that I'm fine and well.

  And not just you guys, but Miss Froslass, too. I'll never forget my nanny for the values she distilled in me. It still hurts. It still hurts to know I'll never be able to curl up beside dad as he tells me about his day or spend the day with mom cooking Pokepuffs. I occasionally have these dreams of a snowy land experiencing a fierce blizzard. I brace through the storm toward a small cottage, where I can see the flickering orange of an ablaze fireplace. I peek through the cabin's windows and I see you guys and Miss Froslass. My brother Roark is there as well, telling you one of his famous tales. You all look so content, and I move to enter. That's when the dream ends.

  I don't know when my story will be complete, when I'll ever see my ending. I still have a lot to learn; strengths to train upon, and weaknesses to adapt to. All of us left from the guild are in the Rescue Society's old base. Liam returned as soon as I evolved and now we're sharing a room in Roark's old quarters. Right now he's practicing his banjo as we wait for Scizor to arrive. He's different in a way, but still the same Riolu I know well, so like me.

  Maybe I still hold onto that slimmer of stupid hope that I'll see you again. I could simply give you this letter - we would hug and cry - then return to simple times. But wouldn't want me to hold out for that. You would want me to move forward, and maybe I should.

  A lot has changed about me. But it's still me.

  Your daughter,

  Gloria

  Gloria sniffled as she rolled the inky quill away from the scrap of parchment. Her eyes glazed over the contents as she let out a sigh of much-needed relief.

  It was finally done with.

  "Whatcha writing there, Gloria?"

  The Ninetales nearly leaped from the wooden chair she sat upon, turning to see the smirking visage of her partner. "N-nothing!" she shot back.

  "Writing your own romance novel?" Liam said, finding her look of horror very amusing.

  "No! And I don't read romance novels, for your own information!" she defended. "Stop listening to Roark!"

  "I don't know… Your brother is a pretty knowledgeable guy. I think he knows his stuff."

  A deadpan glare was thrown his way. "I thought you were practicing."

  He shrugged. "I was. Asked you a question about my sound and you didn't say anything, so I got worried." He laid a paw on her shoulder. "Are you okay? I know you've been through a lot the past few days."

  She smiled in appreciation. "We've all been through a lot, haven't we? But no, I'm fine. Just needed to put down all these thoughts swirling around in my head."

  "Ah, so you do have a diary. I tried finding one in our guild quarters before." Liam crossed his arms, scratching his chin. "But I thought y'all girls had them little pink ones, with the flowers and hearts, the tiny locks, and the key-"

  Gloria groaned as she shoved him away. "Just go and ask Roark if there's some food left here that's edible; I'm starving."

  "All right, all right. I'll see if there's any Pokepuff mix that Excadrill's workers can whip up - just for you," he ended with a knowing wink.

  She giggled. "Thanks. You always look out for me in that regard."

  "What are friends for?"

  She watched the one-eyed Lucario head for the moss-covered door, wincing at the piercing squeak it produced as it swung open. Their new quarters were far less inviting and comfortable than the previous, but it was better than a prison cell. Returning her attention to the rotten desk and her parchment of wandering thoughts and heartfelt emotions, she suddenly felt compelled to destroy it, to rip it into many pieces and scatter it to winds.

  But she did not.

  Sighing, she took the useless letter and held it to her beating chest. She then folded the parchment into a tiny square and tucked it underneath a potted plant with a dead flower in it. It was out of sight, but not from her mind, and not from her heart.

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