As the glowing blue blade came towards me, I chose to slide back instead of seeking to deflect the attack. “Not bad” I commented before my wrist turned, causing my blade to flick towards my opponent, “but be aware of your footing,” I added just as my blade clipped her on her forward leg just above her knee.

  The blades were on low power, ensuring that any strike only stung instead of removing a limb; or life if the area would induce a fatal wound. As I pulled my blade back, I hid my amusement at her annoyance with how easily I had countered and scored the strike. “If you over-extend with any part of your body you leave yourself exposed to a quick, controlled counter like I just demonstrated,” I explained as I stepped back and looked down at the young Zabrak I was sparring with.

  “Yes… Master,” the girl said slowly as she recovered from her annoyance and then took a deep breath. “And thank you for taking the time to spar with me,” she added with a warm smile. One that I returned as we powered down our lightsabers. “How long are you going to be at the Temple?”

  “Just for today, Tedra,” I replied as we moved from the sparring circle towards where her Master, Shaak Ti, had been watching us. “Master Dooku and I have some business to discuss with the Council, and after that, I’ll be off to speak with Chancellor Damask.” The second part of that was a falsehood, but one that made sense given my connections to both Chancellors and by saying I was going to the Senate I could avoid having to promise to spend time with her or others after I resigned from the Order.

  The thirteen-going-on-fourteen-year-old Zabrak girl was coming along nicely as a Jedi, though thanks to Observe, I knew that she still hadn’t fully acclimatised to the Order, nor forgotten her roots. That was made clear in the fact her loyalty to me ran higher than to the Order, and that her loyalty to the Lokella was still strong as well. Her level had increased impressively, though while she had a long way to go before becoming anything more than a low-level threat to me – in the estimation of the Interface at any rate – her training with Shaak Ti seemed to be going well.

  When I’d felt her in the Temple, I’d made sure to seek her out first. There were others that I would be speaking to before Dooku and I stepped before the Council, but like Serra, Tedra was another that, if given the chance, might follow me when I left the Order. Or join up with me later once she was older. Something that the reveal from Observe about her loyalties reaffirmed.

  We’d spoken a bit both in the Archives when I’d found her and Shaak Ti there, and when walking to this training room. According to her, she was able to beat most of her fellow Padawans in spars. Master Ti had cleared up that Tedra meant those her age, as against anyone from My age group – such as Serra or Sia-Lan for example – she always lost badly. However, Master Ti was impressed with Tedra’s dedication and felt she had the makings of a powerful Jedi Guardian.

  After the spar we’d just had, I would agree with Master Ti’s assessment and could see the flaws that remained for her to overcome in the base forms before she could focus heavily on the creation of a style designed specifically for her. Still, she had potential and when combined with her retained loyalty to me and the Lokella, I felt I could shape her into something remarkably powerful if she chose to follow me after I left the Order.

  Tedra’s shoulders slumped with my answer. “Oh. I’d hoped that… well, that we might spend more time sparring, or talking or…” she trailed off as we heard Shaak Ti laughing gently. The sound was one I always found pleasant, and now that I was older, a little alluring. I wasn’t going to make the mistake of trying anything with the Togruta Jedi – not least as I’d undoubtedly let my guard down around her, which would be disastrous – but nothing said I couldn’t enjoy thoughts about what she might look like under her robes.

  “Much like his former Masters, or even myself as you should be aware by now, Cameron is not a Jedi content to spend his days within the confines of the Temple,” Shaak Ti remarked. “He allows the Force to guide him where it needs him to be, and does as it wishes.”

  I bit back my first comment about no longer doing as the Force wanted and instead chose a more jovial response. “I would prefer, Master, if the Force could find the time to avoid placing me in dangerous situations. Or at least grant me more warning of the threat than one right as I am dropped in the metaphorical gundark tank,” I added with a smirk.

  “If one is not tested by the crucible of life, how can one learn to see and accept the wonders that the Force provides?” Shaak Ti countered with one of those knowing smiles that all Jedi Masters seemed to possess. “Or learn to understand what role it is that the Force has deemed for us to fulfil?”

  I grunted in reply, biting back a comment about not enjoying being the Force’s plaything. My reaction was misinterpreted by Tedra, and she chuckled thinking I had no comeback for her Master’s words. Now, Shaak Ti was right in that I had accepted the wonders brought forth by the challenges I’d faced, but not in the way she likely expected. That said, it had taken time after the fact for me to understand that I’d enjoyed almost all of them. “As you say, Master Ti,” I finally said, letting the matter drop.

  The Togrutan Jedi lowered her head a fraction, accepting my surrender on the point before I continued. “Since you admit to preferring your time away from the Temple as much as me, might I ask why you and Tedra are here today?” It was an easy way to shift the conversation away from me, and my issues with the Force and the Order, without forcing the issue.

  “We have just returned from a mission in the Outer Rim near Felucia,” Shaak explained as we moved to exit the sparring room. “One that tested Tedra in a way she had not expected beforehand.”

  “Slavers,” Tedra blurted out, faint embers of almost delicious anger slipping from her into the Force. I ignored those as best I could, letting her continue. “They were targeting a Togruta colony on a remote world in a nearby system, and the colony’s governor asked the Jedi for help.”

  “Tedra struggled at first to control her feelings on the matter...”

  “Understandable,” I cut in, offering the Zabrak a smile of understanding. “She lost her parents to slavers before Master Dooku and I found her.”

  “Yes,” Shaak commented, unconcerned by me cutting her off. “However, with time, patience, and meditation, she has worked to move beyond those feelings towards those who engage in such barbaric acts. At least enough that it will not affect her current status as my Padawan.” Shaak Ti glanced at Tedra, who was walking on my other side. From the Zabrak I felt hints of acceptance and disappointment, which if I had time, and Shaak Ti wasn’t present, I would’ve explored further to see if her lingering hatred – and that’s what it was – towards slavers could be encouraged. “If she is to one day become a Knight, something I believe she is more than capable of doing, then she will have to let go of all her residual anger towards such individuals. Just as you did,” she added, offering me a smile.

  “It’s a difficult lesson for many to grasp, Master,” I replied diplomatically. “Some of us are… more adept at forming connections with others. Connections that can make it hard to fully let go of our feelings for them and towards those that seek to do them harm.”

  Shaak Ti slowed, and I felt a gentle shift in the Force. Aware she might be trying to browse my surface thoughts, I made sure my defences were in place and generated the same distant sensation that I’d had before Natural Selection. On top of that, as I had done since before even arriving in the Core, I made sure my feelings on anything were buried deep behind my barriers, as far from the outermost edges of my thoughts where anyone could sense them. My mental defences weren’t perfect, and if she pushed, she’d breach those walls and soon discover the truth of what I’d done and who I’d become, but to do that without proof was something no Jedi should ever do. Haran, even with proof it was something many had an issue with, which worked to my advantage here as I felt her gentle probe pull back.

  “Hmm. If I did not know that you had learned to see past such issues, and thus let go of your feelings during our assignment to Zygerria I might find reason to wonder if you were truly ready to be a Knight. As I do know better, and you have yet to take a Padawan, I feel there is no issue.”

  “As you say, Master,” I said slowly, lowering my head in her direction while keeping my amusement that she’d failed to sense anything amiss buried as deeply as I could. She wasn’t on the Council, but might well be one day, so to allay her concerns so easily was a nice reassurance that the defences I’d crafted, and that Dooku had probed intently for flaws in the time we’d spent before coming here today, worked as intended.

  “So that’s why she asked about you.” I turned to face Tedra at her comment, though before she replied I realised that I’d inadvertently copied Dooku and raised a single eyebrow in question. Something that drew a murmur of amusement from Shaak Ti. “Um,” Tedra continued as she caught me looking at her, “we had to speak with a Zygerrian princess, and when there she asked Master Ti where you were.”

  “Miraj Scintel was able to provide several leads that proved beneficial in locating the slavers,” Shaak Ti took over, “and freeing the Togruta they had already captured but not yet sold.” Her smile grew as she continued. “The price of her help was, among other things, a request that I reach out to you and ask that you visit her when you next have the time to do so.” She glanced at Tedra for a moment. “It seems that she has retained her interest in you; something that seems to be a recurring theme among many young females around your age.”

  “And what about those females who are slightly older, such as yourself?” I asked back, with perhaps a touch too much flirtatious undertone. I was pushing things in an odd direction, but that was simply to keep my thoughts clear of Miraj, Padmé, and their interactions with me and each other at the premiere of Fellowship of the Ring, or from the Co-Chancellors and wondering what machinations the Banite Sith had concocted while Anakin and I had been travelling and training.

  Shaak Ti laughed gently in amusement and lightly patted my arm. “If I felt the urge to… indulge my instincts, then perhaps I might be interested in seeing if the interest you generate is deserved. Thankfully for you, I feel no such interest currently,” she flashed me a smile, exposing her canines. “Togruta females can be quite… ferocious when excited.” Those canines were not, as many falsely believed, poisonous, though many Togruta played into the myth for their amusement and benefit. Still, it was interesting that she was willing to, seemingly, respond to my flirtatious question in kind. Particularly with her Padawan present.

  Tedra’s feelings for me had lessened over the years, but they were still there and as she was entering puberty had evolved partly from ones of loyalty and trust into immature desire. I would never use her feelings to manipulate her, both because she was the same age as Anakin, and I remembered the scared young child I’d found looking for her mother when I’d first helped Dooku free the slaves that would found the Lokella.

  “I have some experience with your species, Master,” I replied with a knowing smirk as we exited the training room. “But I know that one as powerful as yourself would be a challenge that I don’t yet feel ready to face,” I added, drawing a chuckle from her. Bedding Shaak Ti was something I wouldn’t deny I hadn’t dreamed about. However, I knew it would never happen. First, because I was but a Knight while she was a Master, and now because my path led away from the Order any such encounter would turn ugly the moment my passions ran freely.

  Pushing those thoughts back into the depths of my mind where they belonged, I turned and then bowed to her Padawan. “Tedra, it was good to see you again,” I said with a warm smile. “I hope that our paths will cross again in the not-too-distant future.”

  Tedra smiled, banishing the grimace that had been there during the brief moments of flirting between myself and her Master. “And you, Knight Shan. Perhaps if we are both still present in the Temple after you finish your business at the Senate we might spar again?”

  “Perhaps,” I agreed, though I knew that after the meeting I would be out of the Temple post-haste. Even if the Council didn’t have us escorted out by the Temple Guard, Dooku and I wanted off Coruscant as quickly as possible. Yes, the heists remained undetected, and the longer we remained present the greater the chance that as news of our choice to leave the Order spread, someone might try and link us to the missing holocrons once they were discovered to be absent from the vaults. “Until we meet again, may the Force be with you both.”

  “And with you, Knight Shan,” Shaak Ti replied, drawing a nod of agreement from Tedra.

  With that, I moved off. However, I didn’t head towards the elevator that would carry me to the High Council chambers. Instead, I headed in the direction of the person that I had been wishing to speak with ever since I’d arrived in orbit of Coruscant and sensed her presence. Two years had passed since I’d last seen Serra being moved onboard a Republic cruiser, still unconscious after being removed from the bacta tank after her encounter with Maul, and while I was tentative about speaking with her, I knew I had to. This might be the last chance I got to do so while we were both members of the Order.

  Before I stepped into the larger room where I could sense Serra and others present, I took a moment to centre myself. All the emotions that were swirling below the surface, every one of them focused on Serra, were pushed deep. I wasn’t actively trying to nullify the connection I shared with her, but I could not let myself be guided by my feelings. Not when I could sense at least one Jedi Master inside.

  The moment the doors slid open, the sounds of lightsabers clashing against each other reached me. Stepping inside silently, making sure to keep my presence as restrained as I could, I saw Serra standing in the main sparring circle in this larger room. She’s facing off against, unluckily for me, Sia-Lan while they are being observed by, among others, Eeth Koth.

  Master Koth had replaced Master Drallig as the Order’s Battlemaster but unlike his predecessor, was still from what I knew, a member of the High Council. He, along with a handful of others acknowledged my presence with nods, which I returned, but my focus was on the pair of young ladies duelling inside the circle.

  The pair were moving at an impressive pace; at least for Padawans. Serra’s twin azure blades – of which one, I was pleased to note, was still a shoto – swirling around Sia-Lan’s single blade. As I moved around, I made sure to remain hidden as best I could from their gazes. Yes, they were focused on each other as their lightsabers danced around, flowing from attack to defence and then back again with good, but not brilliant if I was being critical, style.

  Sia-Lan rushed in, her blade sweeping high intent on striking Serra somewhere around her chest level. Serra easily deflected the attack with her main blade, and then as her opponent’s blade was forced high, pushed forward with her shoto. The move, while successful in pushing Sia-Lan onto the backfoot, was flawed. The shorter blade of the shoto prevented Serra from fully exploiting the opening, still, it forced Sia-Lan to pull back her hand, which from the spark of excitement I felt from Serra before she squashed it, was what my oldest friend had intended.

  Serra’s main blade came around, overly dramatically and inefficiently in my opinion, forcing Sia-Lan to take several shifting steps backwards. The pair moved faster, Serra calling on aid from the Force to exploit her advantage and Sia-Lan – a hint of desperation in her request – using it to keep up with her friend’s assault. Even as murmurs filled the room, coming from the younger Padawans, I continued to track the pair without effort. They were fast, but it was nothing compared to the speed I had used when sparring with Dooku recently, or even when I defeated Volfe Karkko.

  Sia-Lan’s blade came around, pushing away Serra’s shoto before flicking out in a textbook Djem So counterstrike to force Serra’s main to stop its impending attack and shift to counter the incoming threat. Even as Sia-Lan managed to stop that attack, Serra’s shoto was adapting, coming in low and fast. That forced Sia-Lan to shift again, surrendering the hint of offence she’d gained with her earlier move.

  As the pair continued their dance – and that was all it was as since neither was willing or capable of exploiting openings for a kill strike – it became clear to me that while Sia-Lan was good, Serra was now the better duellist. An interesting change from when I’d first met the pair around eleven years ago. There was a crispness to Serra’s movements that was new to me, and I could easily see the teaching of Master Windu in how she looked for and then exploited an opening.

  That said, while Serra soon had the spar won – a feint with her shoto drawing Sia-Lan’s attention just long enough that Serra’s main blade could strike her friend’s shin – she failed to exploit a half-dozen openings I saw in the minute or so of the spar that I had observed. Each of them would’ve granted Serra victory, with only two in my estimation carrying anything more than a minor chance of suffering an injury in return. Of course, given that I had felt the same way when I’d last duelled Dooku on Gaia and, even though the strike had landed, I had failed to prepare for his kill strike, perhaps I was underplaying the threat that Serra would be under from any potential counter by Sia-Lan.

  “Kriff!” The annoyed curse slipped from Sia-Lan as she felt Serra’s blade press against her shin; only a quick shifting of her weight prevented her from tumbling to the mat. Low-powered the blades might be, but I knew well that they still stung, and a strike against the right point could see someone crumble to the ground.

  Her irritation faded a fraction of a second later, the girl doing as Jedi were taught and releasing the negative sensations into the Force. While she did so, my focus shifted to Serra. There was a flicker of enjoyment at the spar and at defeating her friend, but it was less prominent than I had expected, even when considering what happened on Naboo.

  The intervening years had been kind to her, and while it was hard to be certain of the physical changes she’d undergone because of her robes, from what I could determine she had matured into a beautiful young woman. One that, if I wasn’t keeping a tight rein on my emotions, would spark my desire to claim again what had once been mine.

  “You have both fought well,” Master Koth said as he stepped into the sparring circle. The pair reacted quickly, powering down their blades, turning to the Battlemaster and lowering their heads slightly in respect even as he continued. “Padawan Wezz, you started well; committing to the offensive without making rash moves and managing to drive your opponent back. However, once you were forced on the defensive you surrendered agency and made your defeat inevitable.” There was a faint ember of annoyance from the girl at the mention of her defeat, but as before, it was gone a fraction of a second later even as Master Koth turned to Serra.

  “Padawan Keto, you were wise to wait and observe what your opponent was capable of. Your use of the dual blades is highly impressive for any in our Order, to say nothing of a Padawan. However, you allowed the spar to continue too far; avoiding opportunities that others would exploit for a faster, and potentially more conclusive, victory. Against an older or more dangerous opponent, such civility might cost you the day.” His gaze shifted to me as he smirked. “Would you not agree, Knight Shan?”

  I ignored what was likely not a jab at my aggressive tendency in spars, and instead focused on the pair as they spun at realising I was present. For a fraction of a second, as our eyes met, I felt Sia-Lan’s anger spike. A hint, that disappeared before I could consider it fully, of her still blaming me for events on Naboo, or that I had managed to approach without her knowledge. Regardless of whether it was one of those reasons or another I was unaware of, I gave it little thought, my focus instead on my oldest and dearest friend in this life.

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  Even though I knew she didn’t want it to happen, the emotions that burst from her for a moment through our bond appeared over her face. Joy, fear, resentment, and relief all mingled in her expression and her Force presence as her eyes locked onto mine. Even as she regained control of herself, I reached out through our bond, curious as to how she would react. She responded, but there was some trepidation in her reaction which caused the concern in me that we were drifting apart to grow stronger.

  I turned to Master Koth and nodded. “I would, Master Koth. However, the training of Padawans is the responsibility of their Masters, or yourself as Battlemaster and those assigned to assist you. As I’m not currently working in that role, I would be reluctant to offer any unsolicited advice.”

  Koth smirked for some reason at my response. “A wise choice to take. However, you once helped the former Battlemaster train Initiates, and as a contemporary of the two Padawans, and the first Jedi to defeat a Sith in generations, I am curious to hear your thoughts on the spar.”

  I allowed a glimmer of a smile to brush over my lips, pleased that at least one Council member believed Maul was a Sith. I pushed aside the pride I felt at that moment, suspecting he had said it to determine if I was overly proud and dwelling on my victory. While I was, the fact I’d had to rely on equipment to take Maul down rankled me, and at some point soon I intended to speak with the Zabrak, and if I felt ready, challenge him again to a duel. This time testing my ability with the Force and a lightsaber against his.

  I lowered my head, accepting his wisdom, even while ignoring the fact he’d intentionally brought up Master Drallig with Serra present; something I knew was a test for both of us in separate ways. “I only arrived just before Padawan Keto took control of the spar, so I cannot comment on anything before that, Battlemaster.” I used his title as a mark of respect, and to make clear I understood this was his domain.

  Koth inclined his head, accepting my logic, before I continued. “I would concur that Padawan Wezz, once she lost the initiative, failed to retake it. There were a handful of moments where she either tried to, or could’ve attempted to shift the narrative of the spar, but none were taken successfully.” I looked at Sia-Lan. “If the opening is there, and you feel you are losing, there is no shame in trying innovative approaches or taking a risk while sparring. If you don’t learn what you are capable of here, then if ever faced with a true opponent outside the Temple’s walls, you’ll never survive.”

  Sia-Lan stared at me for a few seconds before lowering her head in acceptance of her words. That allowed me to turn my full attention back to Serra. “Padawan Keto. As Battlemaster Koth stated, you failed to take advantage of opportunities that presented themselves. Perhaps you did not see them clearly or did not feel comfortable taking them. However, against a more capable opponent than your fellow Padawan, such hesitation may well mean death.”

  I disliked having to put her down for her actions, but to not do so would draw Master Koth’s focus. Perhaps it would even cause me issues when I spoke with the Council later. Also, I was not going to hold my remarks towards Serra, as her form, while decent, left a lot to be desired. Since I’d last seen her fight, I felt she’d lost something. As if that spark of creativity and passion that had driven her to try and keep up with my abilities had vanished into the Force along with whatever emotional guilt she carried about the death of Master Drallig.

  Serra held my gaze for perhaps a few seconds longer than she was meant to, and I could feel the conflicting emotions warring within her. She was doing a decent job of keeping them contained, but via our bond, it was a simple matter for me to sense her feelings, though I chose to not react to any of them currently.

  “Padawans Wezz and Keto, please leave the circle. Padawans Marek and Hett, step forward.”

  I stepped back from the circle, watching as the two Padawans that I knew were replaced by a pair of human males. As much as I wanted to head over to Serra, I couldn’t. I had to be patient and allow her the time to come to me. I watched silently, slipping towards one of the walls in the room, as the pair moved to a bench, speaking quietly to each other as they collected their belongings.

  There was apprehension from both, which was entirely understandable. The last time I’d spoken to Sia-Lan she’d blamed me for the death of Master Drallig, and I knew from Tedra and Rachi Sitra – who I’d not managed to speak with today as I sensed she wasn’t in the Temple currently – she had been doing that for at least a year after. I’d stopped asking about Sia-Lan since, so I was uncertain if she still held that blame, but from what I could sense there was understandably far less animosity from her than when I’d last seen her.

  As for Serra, her apprehension was easier to determine. It was all centred around Naboo and the death of Master Drallig. I’d wanted her to stay away, my visions hinting at what would happen, yet her vision had shown her my death if she wasn’t at my side on Naboo, and that along with her invoking her status as Mando’ade was why I, selfishly and foolishly, allowed her to stay.

  Eventually, the pair moved slowly towards me, Sia-Lan glancing at Serra with her eyes as they neared, which I took as a sign that she didn’t want to speak with me, but was concerned for our mutual friend. “Knight Shan,” Sia-Lan began once the pair were closer, “I wish to apologise for my behaviour two years ago on…” she gave Serra a sidelong glance, “Naboo. I was out of line in blaming you for Master Drallig’s death. You didn’t act with any intent for a member of the Order to die, and from what I have learnt, only gathered the forces you did after the Council chose to not provide support.”

  “Thank you, Padawan Wezz,” I responded gently. If things were different, I might speak to her more; perhaps see if the friendship we once shared could be restored. However, I wasn’t here for her, and we both knew it.

  “Right, so, um,” Sia-Lan coughed as her eyes bounced between me and Sera. “I, uh, I promised to help Rann with… something.” With her rather clumsy attempt to extract herself from the situation taken, she walked away, though I caught her eyes lingering on both Serra and me. It was nice that things between us were settled, but I felt that once events of today reached her, Sia-Lan’s interest in renewing our friendship would be shattered, and if, as I was now heavily certain of, I ended up opposing the GAR then the next time we saw each other might well be as adversaries.

  The air between Serra and I grew tense. I stood there, looking down at her waiting for her to speak first while I could sense she was warring with her thoughts about how to begin the discussion we both knew was coming. That said, there was more I had to say that she realised.

  “Why?”

  Serra’s single word came as her eyes finally came to meet mine. “Why didn’t you check up on me after Naboo, after my…” she paused, and I felt her emotions flaring behind the barriers she had created to hide them from almost everyone else. With our bond, those barriers couldn’t keep me out easily, but I made no move to react, wanting her to get everything out as best she could. “After Master Drallig died?” She finished.

  “I did try to contact you,” I replied softly, my hand twitching as I fought the urge to reach out for her. Ideally, this conversation could take place somewhere private, such as the spot in the rooftop gardens where we’d spent many an evening talking about everything and anything or simply enjoying the view in each other’s company. “At first, the Council of First Knowledge placed you in seclusion, and so every call I made to the Temple was redirected to others. Then, after Master Windu took over your training, any time I tried to contact you, I was told that I couldn’t speak with you; that I had to go through him.”

  “And what about after that?” She shot back, barely able to contain the venom raging in her feelings. “Why didn’t you try to call me?”

  “I did!” I shot back, my own emotions bubbling. I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a deep breath, pushing down deeply whatever emotions I couldn’t expel into the Force. I couldn’t risk losing my control here, not with Master Koth and others present and likely quietly observing us. If we were in the rooftop gardens, or even in a room to ourselves, I might let some of my emotions slide out; and let her understand that I raged at being denied access to her. However, that simply wasn’t possible.

  “I tried to contact you,” I continued once I’d regained my centre, “But as I said, each time I reached out to the Temple, I was directed to Master Windu and the one time I came back to Coruscant, I called and discovered that you and your new Master were off world.”

  “I… I saw you on the Holonet,” She said slowly. “You looked comfortable with the Chancellors and others, but I knew you didn’t.”

  “I wasn’t, and not just because I don’t have the patience for politics,” That drew a weak smile from her, “but because I couldn’t see you.” Again, my hand twitched, wanting to reach out of hers, but I restrained myself. However, it seemed she saw the movement as her eyes darted down and the smile grew slightly. “Where did you go?”

  “Master Windu took me to another Jedi complex in the Outer Rim. Somewhere that he said would help me come to terms fully with what happened to Master Drallig.”

  “And did it?” I asked, taking a step closer, but staying just outside her personal space.

  “Enough that I’m able to continue my training as a Jedi,” she replied coolly. Even with what I could sense through our bond, she was keeping her emotions as in check as she could, which was making it hard for me to get a good read on her, and where we now stood. “That I might one day become a Jedi Knight and…” She looked down for a moment before continuing in a whisper, “Stand beside you.” With her words, I felt some of the walls she’d created to contain her emotions slip and sensed her feelings for me through our bond.

  I smiled at her omission, and opened a small hole in my barriers; enough that she could sense my feelings for her through the Force. “I do not doubt that you’ll be great at whatever you choose to be,” I said before reaching out to her mentally. [I’ve missed you, and I’m sorry for… everything.]

  “It is an honour to have your faith in my abilities, Knight Shan.” [I… I’ve missed you too, and know now that you weren’t at fault for what happened. The Force, it… it has a plan, and we all have roles to play within it.] She looked down. “How is your hand?”

  I lifted my left arm, letting her see the replacement limb, the ripples in the beskar causing her eyes to widen in surprise. “I’ve adapted,” I began with a chuckle. “There’s still some phantom pain, but it’s mostly minor now and doesn’t cause me any issues. Even though this has a few hidden tricks,” [some I think you’d enjoy] “it is a constant reminder to me of what I… what we lost.” Her hand came out to touch the metal, getting a feel for the replacement. [The Force tricked us, Serra. It showed me your possible death if you came to Naboo, and showed you mine if you didn’t come. It knew only one of them could come true, yet used us to get what it wanted.] I turned my wrist and let the mechanical fingers slide against her palm. [Then and now, I’d gladly lay down my life to protect you. I want you to be happy and safe.] I stopped there, not wanting to say too much, and let my feelings for her, the Order, and everything slide into her bond. If she knew what I intended, she would have a choice to make, and I didn’t want to put her on the spot about that. Not just yet. “How is the training with Master Windu going?” I asked as I pulled back my hand, aware of where we were.

  A flicker of desire flashed in her eyes, and I felt her emotions spike before she regained control of herself. While no one could overhear us, her response if based on what I’d said openly, would draw some concerning queries. “It is… different to how Master Drallig trained me,” She replied, a hint of sadness in her tone. [I want you to be happy as well, Cam. But I trust in the Force and the plan it has for us. We have to accept that, even if it is the one that keeps us apart.] “He’s different from what I expected as well.”

  “How so?” I asked as my brow rose in response to both her answers. “[I’m not sure I can accept that, Serra. Not only are you my oldest and dearest friend but… I care deeply for you.] I let a flicker of my feelings for her travel along our bond and watched as her face brightened at what she felt. Yes, perhaps I shouldn’t be choosing to be so open with her, not with where I was and what I would soon be doing, but I wasn’t going to lie to her about my feelings for her.

  Around us, the Force moved in a way I’d come to recognize as a hint that something was happening. I pushed down my fears over what that meant as it was clear Serra was content with the Order currently, but in the deepest parts of my heart, I knew things had changed between us. Perhaps in ways that could never be overcome.

  “He’s stricter than Master Drallig, and yet not. Forceful yet patient beyond measure in a way I’d never realised before.” She looked away and a small smile came to her face before she returned her gaze to me. [I care for you deeply as well, Cam, but we’re Jedi.] Through our bond I felt her feelings in response to mine; the same desire and compassion that had been there for years remained, but it was now… constrained. [However, such thoughts, such feelings… they can lead us down dangerous roads, such as the one that cost me my former Master.] She looked down, unable to meet my gaze. [I’m not sure I can travel on those roads with you.] “He’s so different when training me than how he appears when a member of the Council.”

  I forced a chuckle from my lips, acting along to what she was saying with her lips, and not what was said in our minds. “Yeah, Master Windu is something of a contradiction.” [ I want you by my side, Serra, today and every day after. Whatever happened to the young, energetic, and passionate girl who stole my heart while believing emotions weren’t something to fear?] “For the longest time, I felt he hated me, but as I’ve grown and matured, I understand he doesn’t. He’s just very… set in his ways about what is best for the Republic and the Order.”

  “Yes, he’s very clear in believing that the Republic is the greatest source of protection, outside the Order, that we have against the returning Sith.” Her fingers shifted, drawing my attention, and I assumed it was her fighting the urge to reach for me again, just as I was restraining myself from touching her again as well. [I’m still the same person, Cam, and I never stopped caring for you, not even when,] she paused for a moment, [ when I blamed you incorrectly for Master Drallig’s death. That was the fault of the Sith and their corruption of the Force and not because of you.] I kept my emotions in check, knowing I was to blame in part for what happened on Naboo. [I still care for you deeply. More so than I should as a Jedi. I just… I accept that the Force is the one that will determine if we are to remain as connected as we once were or not.]

  I couldn’t keep a faint, primal growl from slipping from my lips at Serra’s mental words. Hearing her place our fate in the hands of the Force, something that cared precisely fuck all about anyone in the galaxy when it came to finding its ideal of balance, infuriated me. This wasn’t something Serra had accepted before; this wasn’t the same woman I’d fallen in love with in the years leading up to Naboo. I had to try something, but it was risky. [Why should we let it play us like toys in whatever insane game it is creating? What… what if we left the Order together? The Force wants us to be together, Serra, I know that in my heart and I know you know that too.]

  Serra blinked and then, much to my disappointment shuffled back a fraction. I felt her probe my thoughts along our bond. She wasn’t powerful enough to overcome my defences, but I knew that preventing her access would damage what we had. Or perhaps more accurately, what we had left. Thus, I allowed her in just enough to sense my feelings for her, and how much I wanted her with me, though I hid everything about my plans for the future. Plans that began today.

  [Cam,] her words in my mind seemed remorseful and concerned, [that isn’t how a Jedi should think, and as much as we might not agree with the way the Order behaves, we are Jedi. We serve the Force and the Council in their judgement of how best to help the Force while keeping the galaxy safe from evil.]

  [Is the galaxy safe?] I asked her, aware that we were now standing around silently while others moved around the room, the two Padawans sparring inside the circle to, I hoped, distract everyone’s attention. [Can you really say that the Republic serves the people?]

  [I believe so.]

  [Then what about Naboo? Or Galidraan or the Lokella, or the countless other events happening within the borders of the Republic where the Jedi and the Republic have stood by and done nothing, or worse, helped those causing harm and suffering to others retain their power? Is that the will of the Force at work? How can the Order claim to serve the Light when it allows the interests of sentients only interested in their self-worth – in the Senate and elsewhere – to dictate Republic law?]

  Serra blinked, and I realised I’d allowed perhaps a touch too much of my rage at the impotency of the Republic and the Order to slip through our bond. She moved closer, and uncaring if anyone saw, placed a hand on my forearm. [Cam… what has happened to you? I can sense you’ve changed since Naboo. Not just in what you’re willing to say but…] She closed her eyes, and I felt her reaching through the bond again, but this time I denied her access to what she sought in my psyche. Her eyes opened; her shock clear in them. [Cam… what has happened to you? Why won’t you let me see?]

  [A lot’s happened to me since Naboo. Some good, some bad, but everything that’s happened has helped shape me into who I am today, and I’m proud of what I’ve become.] I replied to her mentally as I moved my hand and placed it on top of hers. [I… I need you to accept that, and promise me that what I’m about to say you won’t reveal to anyone for a few days. Not even if asked directly about it.]

  [Of course.]

  The instant response from her, showing that she still trusted me, made me smile broadly. Even as I felt more certain that at least for now, if not for a long time, our paths were about to diverge, it was reassuring that she retained her trust in me. I wanted to see if that was still higher than the Order, but I wasn’t going to use Observe just yet; not when she might be able to sense it and thus derail what I was about to discuss. [I… I have a Padawan,] there was a mental gasp, but the only outward response was a widening of her eyes, [who I’ve also adopted in Mando’ade tradition.] She blinked, and I saw in the mind the image of Bo rush to the fore. [No,] I continued with a smirk, [Bo hasn’t adopted him, nor is she pregnant.] At least, I’d not heard from her or Naz to suggest that they might be carrying my child in the months since I’d last enjoyed their company.

  [Oh.] For the briefest of moments, I thought I sensed something from her mind. Relief mixed with disappointment and even a hint of desire, but she pushed it away before I could determine what I’d sensed.

  [My son, I found him among the Lokella, like with Tedra. I didn’t adopt him then and there. He had a mother and they’d only just been freed from slavery. But… when we fought on Naboo, and the Lokella came to my aid, others took advantage.] There was a small spike in concern from her. [Master Dooku and those that remained managed to defeat the attackers but not without cost. The boy’s… Anakin’s mother died, and I felt it happen when I fought Maul.]

  Her hand slipped from my forearm and slid down to touch the cool beskar of my replacement. [When did this happen?]

  [Before the Council came to Naboo, and while you were in the bacta, I returned to the Lokella. The Force… I felt it shift as I consoled the boy, and understood I was to take him as my Padawan, and my ad. It wanted him trained with both the Force and as a warrior.]

  [The Council would not approve of this,] Serra replied even as a weak smile slipped onto her features. [Much as they haven’t agreed with many things you’ve done.]

  I matched her smile as I replied. [No, they wouldn’t. Which is why I wanted your promise before I told you about this.] She gave me a small nod and the sensors in my replacement limb felt her press a touch more for a moment. [I’ve been training him for the last two years and… Serra, training and raising him...] I felt my smile widen. [ It’s brought a joy to my life that I’d never known I was missing. Yes, there have been a few moments of concern, not least an encounter with Trandoshan hunters.] Her fingers tightened around my limb at the mention of that species as she was aware of my issues with them dating back to my verd’goten. [However, it is through him that I’ve finally found the path I need to walk and am at peace with it. However, it… it leads me away from Coruscant, or more accurately, from the Order.]

  Serra stepped back, her hand shifting from my wrist to her mouth. Around us I could sense a few people turning our way, no doubt sensing the shock from her before she schooled her features, lowered her hand, and claimed her emotions. “Cam,” she said softly, so much so that I struggled to hear her, never mind anyone else in the chamber, even if the rhythmic sound of lightsabers clashing against us wasn’t filling the air. “Are you sure about this?”

  “I am,” I replied, taking a step forward and grasping both her hands with mine. “That's why I’m in the Temple today. However, before I face the Council, I had to speak with you. I had hoped you’d come with me, but I can sense now that you won’t. Your path remains with the Order. At least for now.” Part of me feared that her path would never reconverge with mine, but I wasn’t going to dwell on that, not when I could instead spend these last few minutes with her.

  Even though I knew it was dangerous, I found myself struggling to not tell her everything that had happened to me. I wanted to detail the training I’d undergone, with the various groups and Force sects across the galaxy, and even what I’d learnt from Adas’ holocron. However, I knew I couldn’t, not unless she left the Order with me. Instead, I needed to make it clear to her how deeply I cared for her and would continue to do so, so that once T’ra Saa worked out it was me who defeated Karkko by drawing on the Force in the way I had, Serra wouldn’t condemn me. If that was the case, then perhaps, just perhaps, there was a chance that she might one day choose to follow me on a path that led away from the Order and the Republic.

  I allowed some of my true feelings for her to slip along our bond. [I love you, Serra, and I always will. However, I cannot stand idly by as the Order and the Republic are led to devastation by the Sith. You know there’s a darkness coming, you’ve felt it too.] She nodded, showing she remembered at least what I’d mentioned to her long ago about the darkness that was slowly engulfing the galaxy. [The Council knows about it, about the Sith and the threat they pose to the galaxy. Yet in the last two years, not once have I heard of them doing anything to try and find these Sith. Not once have I been contacted for a follow-up regarding our fight with the Zabrak on Naboo. It feels as if they are willingly choosing to ignore the threat.]

  [They’re not, Cam. I... I’ve spoken with Master Windu a little on the matter and he assures me the Council is aware of the threat and working to locate and defeat the Sith.]

  [Maybe they are, maybe they aren’t, but I know I have to do more than just let them handle the matter. I need to protect those I care about,] I gave her hands a gentle squeeze. [You, Anakin, Bo, and others matter so much to me. I need to prepare for what’s coming so that I can do everything I can to keep you all safe. And that is a path the Order cannot support me on.]

  I released her hands and took a step back because as much as I wanted to maintain such proximity to her, I knew I couldn’t. Not here and not now. [Whatever happens in the future, whether I can convince the eddies and currents of the Force to reunite our paths or not, I… I hope and need you to understand that everything I’ve done, everything I’m going to do, no matter what you might hear from others or on the Holonet, I’m doing it for the greater good.]

  There was a flash in the Force from her; one that only I could sense due to our bond. An understanding came over her that I was, at least to her mind, considering waging war on the Sith. She moved forward a fraction, her hands coming up before she stopped herself. A glance towards the sparring circle, and Master Koth, made clear she understood we couldn’t be as expressive as we wanted.

  As her eyes focused on mine, seeking a glimmer of a hint of whatever plan I was preparing I felt her reaching out through our bond. She wanted to know what I was going to do. Wanted to see if she could help. I, however, denied her the answer she sought. She wasn’t ready to hear what I had to say. Not concerning my plans or the path I was on. Not now.

  Her shoulders slumped at me closing off my mind from her probe. “I understand,” she said softly as her gaze fell to the floor and felt something inside her Force signature shift; perhaps fatally altering what we shared. [I promise that I’ll always keep an open mind about whatever it is you do, Cam. I swear it by the Force, and… and on what we shared.]

  I felt my smile return, though it was nowhere near as wide as before. I moved forward and tenderly brushed a lock of hair from her face. “Thank you,” I whispered as I pulled my hand back. “May the Force be with you and keep you safe, my love.”

  With my part said, I turned and started walking towards the door. This hadn’t gone as well as I’d hoped, but also not as badly as I’d feared. Still, I knew that for now at least, Serra wouldn’t be a part of my life and that hurt me deeply. I closed my eyes and pushed down the flames of anger I could feel bubbling in the depths of my soul. This wasn’t her fault, nor would it serve anyone if I lost control of my emotions while inside the Temple.

  [I love you.]

  Her words sent over our bond stopped me mid-stride. I turned just enough so I could see her.

  She was standing where I’d left her, her hands clasped firmly at her sides; her knuckles white as they grasped her robes for support. I knew she wanted to run to me, to embrace me, but that she couldn’t or wouldn’t. The words she said were true and pure, and I couldn’t help but feel a warmth spread through me knowing she felt for me as I did for her.

  [I know,] I sent back to her, opening enough of myself that she could feel what she meant to me. I knew Master Koth and others would sense it as well. However, given I was leaving her here, and the Force was swirling around us, I felt he’d believe that it was just us finally letting go of our feelings for each other, and not saying what could very well be a final goodbye.

  With everything said that needed to be, a warm but melancholy smile on her face, I turned back and resumed walking towards the door. In the sparring circle, the two Padawans were nearing the end of their fight. Both, from what little I’d caught of the spar, had potential, but I wasn’t going to hang around and offer an opinion on their performance.

  A nod was sent to Master Koth, one he returned with an understanding smile as if he knew what had been discussed and was pleased we were committing ourselves properly to the Order. I fought back a spike of fury at him falsely believing that and kept walking towards the door. Once there I paused mid-step.

  Part of me wanted to turn, to run back to Serra and take her with me, but the larger part – the more rational and controlled part – understood I couldn’t. She wasn’t ready to make that step, and might never be. I resumed walking, stepping from the room and potentially consigning Serra and everything we’d shared and that I felt for her to my past.

  There was no going back on the path I was choosing. I was committed to it, and I wasn’t going to falter at the first major challenge. My fate, my destiny, was in my hands. Not that of the Order, the Republic, or the Force. The time of the first two, at least in their current forms, was ending. What I had to do was prepare for the chaos that came with the end of days; to work to ensure that the line of Darth Bane ended with Sidious and Plagueis and that something stronger, fairer, and more fortified rose in the place of the Republic, the Empire, and whatever came after.

  … …