A few hours later, Arena wandered into the gym. Nate sat against the wall, arms on his knees. His hair was wet and stuck up at odd angles, and his cheeks were red.

  “Are you okay?” she asked.

  “Yes. I’m fine.” he said with finality. “I just don’t like secrets. Or surprises.”

  She nodded. “I understand, though that must be hard with this kind of job.” She walked over and plopped down on the floor next to him. Taking a breath, she asked, “What happened that got you assigned here?”

  He finally cracked a smile. “I had wondered when you were going to ask me that.” He sighed and ran his hand through his hair, making it stand up even more. “I was on a mission to protect an asset who was giving us information on a biological weapons program in a particular country. He was a good asset. Risked a lot to give us the information we needed. I worked with him for over two years and developed a pretty solid friendship with him. However, somebody high up decided he was a liability, and my unit director…” He stopped and took a deep breath, “..assigned me to do a hit.”

  Nate titled his head back against the wall and exhaled. “I almost did it, but at the last minute, I couldn’t and refused. It is rumored there are separate agents for that—black ops assassins. I don’t know if that’s true. But I couldn’t see any reason why he should be hit, especially since I was his main contact, and I suspect there was something political behind it. The unit director was angry I backed out, and told me nobody else was right for the job, and then tried to get me canned. Among other things. And whoever was behind it, who I am guessing called in the hit, made it happen. I almost thought I was going to prison for treason, and they were threatening to take me to trial, but I don’t think they wanted the truth to come out, so they reassigned me here, thinking I would hate it.” He smiled grimly. “It’s the best thing that ever happened to me. I would really rather they didn’t find that out, though.”

  He gripped her shoulder. “Arena, the CIA isn’t all fun and excitement. And sometimes it’s more dangerous inside the CIA than opposing them. I thought that I wanted to be some bigshot, and that I had to jump through all the hoops to be that. I tried to be their perfect super agent, but I was turning into a monster. Promise me you won’t let them change you into their kind of monster. They can see you have potential, just as we do, and they will try to make you into something as far from who you are as possible. I was so young when they recruited me that I didn’t really know any different.”

  Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.

  Arena refused to believe it. “But you aren’t a monster? You stopped.”

  Nate shook his head. “I did a lot of other things to climb the ladder that I shouldn’t have. Kissed up to a lot of awful people; and hurt a lot of others who didn’t deserve it. I wasn’t a nice person, or an honest one. That’s how many people in the CIA operate. When you lie for a living it’s easier to keep the lie going the rest of the time. The Misfits have shown me I could be something different, and still be good at my job. I don’t totally agree that Sterling did the right thing by hiding his position, but I understand why he did it. Covert intel on top of shady politics is landmine after landmine. And perhaps in some ways he has even more reason to do so. Our intel could help them get ahead. We come across some pretty cool stuff.” His face fell. “We see some pretty nasty stuff, too, though.”

  When she just looked at him, he went on. “I tried to save those college kids, you know, who made the hoverboards, and I couldn’t. One was already dead when I got there, and the other--I watched him die and I couldn’t do anything about it.”

  His face heated up again. “I’m just tired of the lies, and the politics, and I thought the Misfits were above that. I’d get out of the CIA completely, but I’m afraid that someone will decide I’m a liability, too. But part of me just wants to lead a normal life, with a house and a dog in the suburbs.”

  “Would you be happy with that?” she asked.

  “I don’t really know. Never had a chance to find out.” Slowly, he examined Arena. “I’m really not sure now.” He turned away and didn’t explain further.

  Flustered, she jumped up and starting running on the treadmill. He raised his eyebrows at her, but didn’t say anything else. She tried to smile at him on the treadmill, and he just nodded and motioned to keep going. Then he left.

  When Arena finished, she hungry, so she made her way to the dining room. Lorna was buried in a book as usual. Arena dug through the fridge and came out with leftover apple pie. Pie seemed exactly what was needed today. Sharon had to be psychic with her food predictions. Arena dropped into a chair by Lorna and dug into the pie.

  “Did you talk to Nate?” Lorna asked. “Is he alright?”

  “Yeah, I think so,” Arena said between bites. “I think he needed to process it a bit.”

  Lorna nodded, but still looked troubled.

  “Are you okay, too?”

  “Yeah, but I do have a question,” Lorna said. “How did you find out?”

  “Oh, well, it wasn’t that big of a deal. One of the people there called him ‘Unit Director’, and so I asked him.” Arena responded. “I think it was an accident. Maybe.”

  Lorna looked slightly happier. “Okay. I thought maybe something else had happened.” Arena didn’t know what she meant.

  Arena finished her pie. “Maybe we should all go do something fun tonight? You know, go out and leave work here for a while? It’s been a really stressful week.”

  A grin lit Lorna’s face. “I think you are on to something! That would be fun!”