Fokso opened the door to an excited Jabber holding a cake box.

  “It’s here!” Jabber excimed, entering. “This is the angel cake I was telling you about! The one from the Segoy. Absolute gold. It’s amazing!” The magician opened the box to show a brown bundt cake with pieces cut and separated by parchment paper. A soft light seemed to radiate out from its sponge-like texture and the air filled with a gentle sweetness that could only be described as what “mother's hug” would smell like if it were a scent. As they entered the living room by the kitchen, Jabber removed one and handed it to his friend. “Here you go! Try it and prepare to have your mind blown.”

  Fokso took the cake and set it down on the coffee table next to a bowl of fruit. “I’m not in the mood right now.”

  “What do you mean?” Jabber asked, surprised.

  “I’m perfectly fine as I am right now.”

  “So? Take a bite of that cake. You won’t regret it!”

  “I’ll try it ter,” Fokso said.

  “Fine, fine,” Jabber said, waving the topic away as they both sat down. Jabber set his cake box next to him on the sofa.

  Eridian, sporting a vender beret over her curls, was at the kitchen counter cutting watermelon as they entered. She frowned when she saw Jabber.

  “How is that compint with that mad secretary of yours coming along?” Fokso asked. “Any news?”

  Jabber exhaled in anger. “I have to give a speech!”

  “A what?”

  “A speech!”

  “About what?”

  “I don’t know . . . she’s completely insane. Do you recall how she thought you were Tatius?! Well, now she’s demanding that I give a speech at some kind of fake charity for battered demons.”

  “What are battered demons?”

  “I have no idea,” Jabber grunted. “And on top of that I have to donate money to them.”

  “And money as well?!” Fokso excimed. “The cheek of that she-devil! You didn’t even do anything!”

  “I know! And it’s an ass’s load of money at that!”

  “I can't believe it!” Fokso whistled. “That’s complete bollocks!”

  “Absolute bollocks!” Jabber agreed angrily.

  “You know what’s also bollocks?” Eridian interjected.

  “What’s that, madam?” Jabber said, his lips tightening in annoyance.

  “That you were ever pnning on fixing my bust.”

  “Oh,” Jabber said, embarrassment softening his tone. “So you saw my new bird bath?”

  “Did you think I wouldn’t?! How could you lie to me like that and then just take it and destroy it.”

  “I’m truly sorry, Eridian. I was pnning to fix it but I had a worker at my house who was angry about some client for not paying him for his work and he just destroyed it out of anger. I have no idea why.” Jabber paused, waiting to see if she would realize she was the deadbeat client he was referring to.

  But Eridian just waved her knife in the air as though cutting through a stream of bull manure Jabber was trying to shovel towards her. “I don’t give a gremlin’s ass what happened to it. You lied to me, you destroyed something I cared about, and you tried to cover it up. You’re a cretin and all my old accounts with you are back on the books!”

  “Yeah, yeah,” Jabber replied, rolling his eyes as he reached for a banana from the fruit bowl.

  “No so fast Jabber!” Eridian called out.

  The magician took the banana and looked back at her in confusion. “What? I can’t eat the banana?”

  “Nope!” Eridian said. “They’re fake.”

  “What?!” Jabber’s eyes widened. He felt the skin and texture of the banana. It was smooth, cool, and fibrous just like a real one. “This is fake? That’s impressive!”

  Eridian smiled with pride. “Well, not exactly fake. It’s a new magical procedure an artificer in town developed. They take real fruit and cast spells on it that harden it, prevent spoiling or damage, and improve the overall appearance.”

  He smelled the banana in wonder. It gave off the same sharp sour scent of a normal banana. “Holy Missing God! I would have never guessed.”

  “I know, isn’t it amazing?” Eridian spoke with animation. “It never spoils, there aren't any fruit flies, and our gremlins never even go near it. The fruit will just stay there looking perfect for all of eternity.”

  “Holy missing God!” Jabber excimed again, feeling the weight of the banana and the coolness of its skin. “Can you give me the name of this artificer? I’d love to get a basket of these.”

  “Okay, I will,” Eridian said. “I’m still upset with you but I’m gd you like the fruit.” She looked down at Fokso and then noticed the cake on the table. “What is that garbage you’ve got there?”

  “Garbage?” Jabber asked in annoyance.

  “Yes, it looks awful.”

  “I’ll have you know that that beautiful piece of angel food cake is made from one hundred percent heavenly ingredients. I’m going to be selling it at Jabber’s Fppers to raise the profile of our dessert offerings.”

  “Ugh,” Eridian frowned. “I hate angel food cake. It’s so spongy and fvorless.”

  “Oh indeed? What do you know about great pastry? You’ve got such an underdeveloped pate.”

  Eridian ignored him. “You know what I love? A dark, rich, moist piece of devil food cake.” As she said this, she raised her hands in the air, wiggling her fingers like a sorceress casting a delicious spell.

  “Wow, devil’s food cake? I would never have guessed,” Jabber responded drily. All of a sudden his eyes fell on a framed cabinet card photo with four people in it dispyed on one of their living room shelves. "What is that?"

  “What?” Eridian asked as Jabber picked the framed photo up. “Oh that? Don’t you remember when we had that taken? You, Fokso, me and Vicky on our way to the cabaret. We were so young then. What a time we had together!”

  Jabber walked to the shelf and frowned down at the picture. Eridian and Vicky were dressed in long flowery gowns, while younger versions of Fokso (thinner) and Jabber (more hair), stood in bck suits with their arms around their wives, everyone staring expressionlessly at the camera. “Yes, but why is it here?”

  “Why shouldn’t it be?”

  “This photo is very painful for me to look at. I want you to get rid of it.”

  “What?” Eridian excimed. “Absolutely not. We’re not getting rid of that.”

  “I’m telling you, this photo hurts me to look at.”

  “Why? Because of Vicky?”

  “Of course because of Vicky. It’s hard for me to see this now.”

  “I’m not going to rewrite our history because of some sad misbegotten feelings you’re having. Vicky’s a good friend of mine.”

  “It’s like looking at one of those portraits of Andreas Tatius those GOAT angels are always hanging in their stores and homes. It’s very hurtful to me.”

  “So what?” Eridian snorted. “I’m not trying to bother you. It’s important to protect and honor the history we have together. I’m not going to edit things out based on your whims.”

  “I’m telling you, I find the fact that you set this photograph in a very public pce of honor to be very offensive indeed!”

  “Well, I’m sorry you feel that way,” Eridian said in frustration. “Now put it the hell back!” she added with a sharp edge in her voice, “and get that dry piece of gremlin shite out of my house!”

  Jabber grabbed his angel food cake box from the sofa. “Just give it a taste why don’t you?!” he told Fokso angrily as he made for the door.

  “Not in the mood, thank you,” Fokso replied.