The end was near, I could feel it in my bones as I lay there on the hospital bed. It came as no surprise to me, too many years had gone by for me
not to know. My life was nearing its end as age would finally take its final due on me. It was not so lonely here on my deathbed, I had already made
my peace with the world. I had done what I could, led perhaps not the most exciting of lives but a good one nonetheless. As my previously shallow
but steady breathing started to sputter I could hear movement. Just as I could feel the nearing end so could my family that was nearby, my wife and
children and grandchildren. They too had made their peace and could only stand there by my side as my life faded once more, all the tears that could
be shed had been and even the youngest child knew that old grandpa was not long amongst them.
During all of this the pressure on my hand only increased, sweet sweet Anna, for over 60 years we had been married yet I was the one to leave them
first. In response to her I also squeezed her hand but oh so lightly “Looks like this is it, the final goodbye” I said.”Yes it does look like it” she replied
sorrowfully. Even when she was older then me by 2 years she was still going to outlast me, the longevity of women I suppose. Our marriage was one
that started out of convenience, both of us wanted a steady hand to hold throughout the rest of our lives and that was what occurred. It was not the
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most passionate of marriages especially when I was not fertile but we had some happiness in each other and our adopted children. We could not have
children ourselves but that did not stop us from raising others and the joy they brought to our lives could not be measured.
Speaking of the children they stood closer after I spoke, our sons and daughters even when they were not of our flesh and blood still could not bear
to let me go. I remember back to when we took them in as small toddlers not old enough to possibly have known who had given birth to them but
still deserving of a family. My wife and I had done all we could to raise them well, parenthood was never said to be a smooth road but we believed we
did the best we could and it showed I suppose. The fact that they were all here with their families showed how strong the bonds were.
“I..I..just...can’t” sputtered my eldest son Rin yet no tears left his eyes, he simply clenched his fists trying to stay strong for the rest. “It...really is”
that came from Ellen the oldest daughter as she also tried to stay composed. Their younger siblings did not make a sound but even with my dim eyes
I could see them holding their children, we raised them well did we not.
“So long, perhaps there is another road after this, don’t be hung up for me time is ever flowing and mines up” those were my last words as the world
faded and my eyes closed feeling so tired but at peace as the darkness embraced me. Yet at the time I was yet to know that my words were indeed
right.
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Currently in another time
I awaken from sleep breathing heavily, that old memory again. So long ago was it yet still it was there in my mind, I suppose it is the sort of thing
one finds hard to forget. I get up from bed, sleep obviously not an option anymore for me as I walk over to a small bookshelf. I reach for the top
shelf as my hand scrambles to grab a small nondescript volume with only a single line on it, the roman numeral for one. I blow off the dust on it and
flip to the front, long has it been since I formed this volume but it is there, still in perfect condition. Nostalgia and weariness battle but nostalgia wins
in the end, I flip open the first page as I sit down in my favorite chair that drifts over for me. I close my eyes as my hand glides over the page, the
words of the page fill my mind as my thoughts drifts through them immersing myself in the memory of long ago.
