The alarm clock jolted me from restless dreams. Images from last night flashed through my mind – Emiko's closeness, the charged atmosphere, the kiss, the abrupt end. A queasy feeling remained. Complicated. My phone buzzed. A message from Hana. "Good morning, sleepyhead! :) Looking forward to later. Tennis practice is canceled today, maybe we could go to the park for a bit after school? The weather is supposed to be great! <3" Park. Okay. I quickly typed: "Good morning. Park sounds good. See you later." On the way to school, my head was full. Emiko. Hana. Kasumi. Three names, three completely different feelings. At the gate, I met Shigeo. His grin was knowing. "Well, everything okay after last night?" "Yeah," I mumbled. Just then, Emiko arrived. A brief exchange of glances, then she looked away and quickly disappeared into the building. The air practically crackled. "Aha," Shigeo said. "I see." "There's nothing to see," I said and followed him. In the classroom, I sat down at my desk. Emiko sat a few rows ahead of me, her back stiffly straight. She seemed to be completely ignoring me. While Mr. Tanaka lectured about literature, my thoughts wandered. Emiko was avoiding me. Hana was waiting for me in the park. And Kasumi... what about her? I could still feel the coldness of her hand on my cheek on the hill. When the last bell rang, I packed my bag. Shigeo was already gone. Emiko too. I took a deep breath and headed towards the park. The anxiety was palpable. How was I supposed to face Hana? She was waiting on the bench by the pond, smiling when she saw me. That carefree smile hit me differently today. "Hey!" she called out. "Survived school?" "Yeah, finally," I said and sat down. A little further away than usual. She noticed my curt tone, my hesitation. "Is everything okay with you? You seem... different." "Just tired," I said, the standard excuse. "Getting back into it is harder than I thought." "I understand." She tried to lighten the mood, pulling out her sketchbook. "Look, I worked more on the characters for the competition." She explained her ideas, showed details. I tried to listen, nodded, but my eyes wandered across the park. I felt out of place, dishonest. While she talked, my gaze fell on a yellow sports coupe driving past at the other end of the park. Not Kasumi's Honda, but similar enough to make my heart beat faster for a moment. Hana followed my gaze, then looked back at me, her flow of words had stopped. "Nobuyuki-kun, you're really not paying attention. What's wrong?" Her voice sounded more serious now, a hint of disappointment in it. "Nothing, I told you," I replied, perhaps a bit too sharply. "I slept badly." I avoided her gaze. She was silent for a moment. The lightness between us had vanished. "Okay," she said quietly then, but her tone was cool. "If you say so. But you know you can talk to me." Her words felt like an accusation, even though she probably didn't mean it that way. That only made it worse. After another silent minute, we stood up. "I have to go," Hana said. "Me too." At the exit, she hesitated. "Should we call later?" "We'll see," I said noncommittally. "I'll be in touch." She just nodded curtly and left. The shadow of disappointment in her eyes was impossible to miss. I watched her go. The feeling of treating her badly was corrosive. I had agreed to be her boyfriend. And now? I walked home slowly, my thoughts racing. The short walk from the park to our high-rise felt longer today. The sun had set by now, and the city lights began to twinkle. Normally, I liked this view, but today it only intensified my feeling of being lost. I entered the cool, silent lobby of our building and took the elevator up. When the door opened to our floor, only the empty hallway awaited me. I unlocked the apartment door and stepped inside. Silence. An almost palpable silence hung in the huge rooms. My footsteps echoed on the polished floor. The kitchen was spotlessly clean. Emiko had tidied everything up last night before she left. Only a very faint smell of garlic and olive oil still lingered, a reminder of our cooking together – and of what almost happened afterwards. An unpleasant memory. I went into the living room, to the huge window front. The city spread out below me like a glittering sea. From up here, everything seemed so far away, so untouchable. And I felt the same way – disconnected, alone in this luxurious cage. My parents were, as often, working late. Kiyoshi was at Grandma's. No one there. Just me and the crushing silence. I slumped onto the sofa. What should I do? Study? I glanced at my school bag. The tests Emiko had mentioned were either over or still some distance away. The pressure wasn't acute right now. I had time. Too much time to think. I stood up again, restlessly pacing the apartment. Into my father's study – full of files and law books. Into my mother's elegant living room – cool and perfectly furnished. Into my own room. I threw myself onto the bed, stared at the ceiling. The silence roared in my ears. No comparison to the quiet hum of the monitors in the hospital or the familiar noise of school with Shigeo and the others. This loneliness up here was different. Colder. More final. I tried to read one of the mangas Hana had given me, but the pictures and words blurred before my eyes. I couldn't concentrate. The scene with Emiko on my bed. Hana's disappointed look in the park. Kasumi's intense eyes on the hill. Everything spun in my head, an unsolvable tangle of feelings, obligations, and desires. Hours passed. I listlessly ate some leftovers from the fridge, turned on the TV, turned it off again. The restlessness grew. This feeling of being stuck, unable to decide anything while the world kept turning, became unbearable. I felt paralyzed, caught between three worlds that didn't fit together. At some point, I'd had enough. This passivity, this waiting, this miserable feeling. I had to act. Do something. Anything. I looked at the clock on the wall. It was approaching ten in the evening. 10 PM. Kasumi should be finishing her shift at the café soon, if she had worked today. The chance was there. More determined than before, I reached for my phone. Opened the contacts, scrolled to the entry without a name. The number she had contacted me from. The number I had only stared at earlier. What if she answers? What do I say then? The questions were still there, but the paralysis had given way to a nervous determination. I had to try. I had to talk to her. Really talk. I took a deep breath, felt my heart pounding in my throat. Then I pressed the call icon. The dial tone sounded in my ear. Once. Twice. Each tone stretched endlessly. Would she pick up? Was she even reachable? Or would it just go to voicemail? The uncertainty was almost as bad as the silence before. Three times. Four times. I was about to hang up, convinced it was pointless, when the ringing suddenly stopped. A faint crackle on the line. And then... her voice. Slightly out of breath, but unmistakable. "Hello?" The words tumbled out of me, driven by the pent-up frustration and loneliness of the evening. "Kasumi? It's me, Oka. I... I want to see you now." A short pause on the other end. I could almost hear her gasp in surprise. Then, surprisingly calm: "Okay. Fifteen minutes at the station." "Which station?" I asked immediately. "The one near the university," she replied curtly. The station near her university. From here, barely fifteen minutes by bike or subway. Perfect. "Okay," I said, my pulse racing. "On my way." I hung up without waiting for another response. Finally, something was happening. Finally, movement in this standstill. I jumped up, grabbed my jacket and keys. Whatever this night would bring – it was better than this crushing emptiness.
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