Here with the gods, I didn't feel any of the pain or weakness of my injuries. The relief only opened up more of me to feel the wild suspicion swelling into a difficult to control paranoia.

  "Max."

  The clear waters of the Collective once amazed me but now only angered me. I'd watched the water ripple with their voice too many times over the years.

  I breathed out slowly. "I need to see the council."

  "It's not time. Request an appointment and–"

  "Now," I shouted.

  After a brief pause, the Collective spoke in a voice quiet enough to send chills through my body. "You're not a Prophet here, Eclipse."

  "I don't care."

  "They agree to see you, but we remind you to watch how you speak to us."

  My eyes snapped up. "I said I don't care."

  I sensed the unease of the Collective through the subtle fluctuations of the waters and the pauses that they didn't actually need. Without saying anything else to me, their water began to swirl and shrink, until a woman stood before me. They always chose a different form.

  "Come with me," she said in a smooth voice.

  I walked through the space left empty by the transformation of the Collective and over the barrier that opened up to the council. Everyone gathered already, watching me.

  "Hello, Max," one of the council members said to me. His name was Treyone, and I thought I liked him, though I couldn't be sure.

  The greeting did not soften my composure. "For too long, you've dropped world-shattering levels of fuckery bombs on me, and I'm done. I'm not doing it anymore." With my injuries faded from my body in this place, the devastation and unrelenting rage of what happened to my people coursed through me. I was strong enough to command its flames. "You will tell me the truth today."

  "Or what?" The woman embodying the Collective asked in a gentle voice. "That sounds as if you intend to follow it with a threat."

  "Do you need me to threaten you?"

  "We understand your anger. Watching the recent events through your eyes devastated us. You need someone to fight. If you want that to be us, then so be it. We want to help, though. So why don't we make this productive."

  "I'm so tired of that. I'm tired of pretending that I don't deserve your respect because you're so powerful and ancient. Supposedly so wise. I gave you my life. We're in this together. So, tell me the truth about my world." Betrayal stung my heart. I didn't even know I could feel betrayed by them. I thought I expected nothing at this point. "Is Dr. Henderson in my world?"

  Council members looked to one another while the Collective stared at me through pale green eyes. The sadness there looked like too perfect of an imitation of compassion, or maybe I simply couldn't bring myself to believe what I saw. They didn't care about us.

  "Dr. Henderson is being rehabilitated," the Collective said. "There is a copy of her consciousness in your world."

  The words ripped the ground out from beneath me. I felt thrust back into every bad dream I'd ever had, doomed to repeat them forever and find they were never simply nightmares at all. "Why?" I covered my mouth. "Why did you put her there? Why didn't you tell me?"

  "That woman is a part of the experiment just like the rest of you. We didn't give her special knowledge or treatment. There was no reason to expose you to her."

  "No reason? Some cultist has her face tattooed on her body. The girl said they want to suck my power out of me and become gods."

  "Dr. Henderson's counterpart did this on her own. We aren't a part of it, and we were not going to be responsible for your paths crossing. We hoped for you to remain separate."

  "Well, we didn't. Is she alive?"

  "We don't believe our meddling will help you."

  "Answer me." I looked at the individual members of the collective. "Dr. Henderson killed me. She ended my world twice. Do you know how it feels to have the love of your life ripped away and destroyed? We lost everything and I remember." I bit my lip. "That's right, I'm fucking traveling to my past lives, assholes. Without you knowing."

  Several people in the council sighed. Others looked concerned. "How did we miss this?" a woman asked the Collective.

  "She never spoke about it or if she did, she took advantage of the privacy we offer."

  "Will you send your security system to kill me now?" I asked. "Because he taught that cult how to poison us. You might as well finish the job and send him to kill me."

  "You're lashing out," the collective said. "Don't you think these are dangerous words?"

  "No, because you'll never give up your precious camera into my world. You don't want me dead, or the security system would have killed me when I shifted worlds, or when I gave my friends power. You allowed me to defy your nature without consequence in this life when you didn't in others."

  "It's troublesome how much you know," the collective said.

  "And endlessly fascinating for you." I levied it like an accusation.

  "You seem to think of us as evil murderers and scheming psychopaths," the collective said. "So why are you challenging us? Don't you feel you're risking your life or the lives of your loved ones?"

  "Does it upset you that I'm not afraid to talk to you?"

  "It upsets us that you feel this way about us."

  I walked closer to the council when usually I kept my distance. "Either you're going to kill me or you're not. I don't believe my words change that. You see me the way I see my thirteen-year-old when she's mad at me."

  "An apt comparison."

  "What would actually kill me is a true threat, like that I'll make a mess for you when I join the afterlife. You might do something to me over that."

  The collective did not hesitate. "Then are you threatening us?"

  "No. I wouldn't waste my life. I'm merely proving a point."

  "Collective," Treyone said. "It doesn't hurt to address what is troubling her. It's time to share more about the one she calls a security system." He sat forward, focusing on me now. "We wanted to test a failsafe program so that if the absolute worst happens in the physical world, there is someone who can put a stop to the madness. His order is to only intervene if someone is breaking the world or defying the natural order. We don't want to create a system that takes too much power."

  "How considerate," I said.

  "Please." The Collective raised a hand to me. "He's being kind to you."

  "Well, thanks to you and your security system, innocent children are dead. That cult wouldn't have these poisonous weapons otherwise."

  "I'm sorry," Treyone said. "This is further evidence of how good intentions can create such horrible tragedies."

  The Collective continued for him. "These are the unforeseen consequences that are so important for us to analyze. This is why we needed to test the security system."

  "So do something," I said. "We're suffering because of you."

  "What can we do?" the Collective asked. "Interfere by introducing more technology to your world that we didn't intend for you to have?"

  "Isn't this unnatural?" I asked. "Why isn't your security system killing his precious cult?"

  The Collective steepled her fingers. "It's totally within the realm of possibility to create this weapon. It just shouldn't have come about because of our system."

  "Once again the people with all the power somehow are powerless. You just don't want to help. Maybe I should threaten you after all. I can't trust anything you say to me. How many more surprises are you going to throw at me?"

  "There was no reason to tell you about Dr. Henderson's consciousness," the Collective said. "We are not compelled to share with you things you don't need to know."

  "You know what," I said. "You explain it to me or I'm revoking the access I give you to my life."

  "Can she do that?" a council member asked.

  "Of course, I can."

  "She makes her own rules now," a man said in an amused voice.

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  "Rights are not given. They are owed." I leveled my look at the Collective. "Take the question to those higher than you. What does the rest of your society say? I was supposed to have the right to privacy, and I waived it to help you. Should I have the right to take that away?"

  "You waived it in exchange for an avatar. It only seems fair that you would lose the avatar if you renege on your part of the agreement."

  "So, you'll kill me."

  The Collective paused for a moment. "We remember this feeling from our previous lives. This is not a worthwhile fight, is it? We must take the higher road. If you want your right to privacy back, then we will grant it, but we will remember what your word means in the future."

  "Just tell me the fucking truth for once." I ripped my arms to the side in a gesture of frustration. "Not everything needs to be a battle. I only want to know the truth. It hurt. Do you understand that? It hurt to find out."

  Treyone looked down with his eyes closing. "Tell her."

  The council fell entirely silent, so quiet that I knew from experience they spoke to each other where I couldn't hear or see, like they'd hit pause on this conversation and walked away.

  I ran my hands over my face.

  "Max," the Collective now said. "Go home. Tend to your people. We're going to discuss and reflect. When you return, we'll talk."

  "I don't want to go home without answers."

  The woman smiled. "It's time to go home."

  Rain pattered against the window and distorted the full leaves of green dancing outside the window in the wind.

  "Can we open it?" I asked.

  "What?" Nash followed my line of sight and then nodded.

  The healer dabbed the melted skin at my side with alcohol while Nash opened the window to the spring rain and the scent of thriving growth that nothing could dampen. Another healer placed a blanket on the ground to catch the water the breeze cast into the room. A thousand knives sawed at my wound with every press of the gauze against my broken skin.

  Nash ran his thumb along the back of my hand and drew my hair back from my shoulders. "Maybe we should try making broth with Cleo's recipe," he said.

  "No." I dug my nails into his hand as the healer began to wrap the bandage around my midsection. "We don't understand this poison or what might worsen it. It's too risky." The fresh air opened my lungs and eased the hurt in my heart like a cooling cloth. "I'm okay."

  "You're not." The anger etched into Nash's expression mirrored the way he looked in battle–focused, determined, and ready to kill. "I can't stand to see you hurt."

  "Let that strengthen you in battle…" I gasped from the pain of the healer separating the gauze on my shoulder from the dried blood clinging to it. "You need to fight for us both today."

  "If anything happens to you–"

  "Gael can portal faster than anyone. He'll be right there, ready to take me away."

  Nash muttered a growl of frustration and turned his sharp stare to the window.

  He'd said he needed time, so even though I opened my mouth to try to soothe the way he felt, I stopped myself.

  After several minutes passed, he spoke quietly. "You don't have to stay the whole time."

  "Okay."

  "If I ask you to return, will you?"

  I looked up into his eyes, seeing as much pain filling them as gripped my body from my wounds. He really couldn't stand to see me suffer. "I will."

  "Thank you." Warm lips pressed against my temple. Nash looked over his shoulder at one of the healers who packed my medical supplies. "Extra, please. I want to have plenty in case any of the supplies get ruined."

  If Nash wanted to enter battle so badly wounded, I'd think he was crazy. I knew how much stress I placed on him by doing this. We both needed to be in battle today even if I only watched after the horrific assault on our kingdom. I hoped that he found a way to cope with the anxiety of me joining in my condition.

  Once I endured the painful process of the healers giving me fresh bandages, I rested for an hour to regain my strength. Over the past few hours, Gael helped the poisoned warriors travel here to his kingdom for protection and so that their healers could continue to study them.

  Nash carried me to one of the medical rooms that housed a half dozen of these warriors.

  "Prophet." One of the women whose injuries didn't appear as severe as many of the others sat up in bed when she saw me. "Please don't spend your energy on us. We heard of your wounds."

  "I won't go to every room today," I said from the chair that Nash helped me to ease into. Sitting up hurt so badly. "How are you recovering?"

  "I'm doing well." She looked to several of her comrades, several of whom were not conscious. "Better than most."

  "We will… recover just fine…" The commander who spoke did not open his eyes.

  "I'm sorry this happened to you," I said.

  "You too." The woman adjusted the sling on her arm. "We heard there may be a potion."

  "Something like that," Nash said. "It came from an enemy source, so we need to investigate it more before we give it to any of you."

  "Eclipse needs this," the commander who closed his eyes said. "I will try this for her…" Though his voice trembled with weakness and pain, the resolve in his hard brow erased any hint of vulnerability. "If I cannot battle, I can do this at least…"

  I swallowed down a hard knot of worry. "We don't know how this could interact with the poison yet."

  "Then we'll know… won't we?" His eyes slid open. "This is my duty…"

  "I will take it too," the woman said. "Be well in battle, Prophet."

  I detected an admonition in her voice that she didn't actually speak, because she surely didn't consider it wise to go in my state.

  "I will. I don't want you testing anything on yourselves, though. We've suffered enough losses."

  "We have said nothing… about you going to battle… So, say nothing of us doing this."

  The commander looked moments away from drifting off. Nash clasped my shoulder and shook his head when I started to speak again. While I knew these warriors, he fought alongside them many times as their War Chief and knew them much better than I did. He likely didn't want me to dishonor them, but I refused to allow them to hurt themselves. If I took what Cleo offered, then they didn't need to test it on themselves.

  "You will support our people in battle, and they will support us here by taking the potion." Nash didn't leave any room for discussion and while I felt tempted to argue with him anyway, I realized that I was doing what I asked him not to do. I didn't want him to stop me from joining them for battle, so what right did I have to tell our warriors not to help in the only way they felt they could?

  I snapped my mouth shut and shoved the distress down hard.

  "Rest and heal safely," I said. "Thank you for being willing to serve our kingdom while you're recovering."

  Nash helped me up and started to lift me, but I pressed my hand against his chest to stop him. "I need to try walking."

  "You aren't ready. Save that for when you really need to."

  I tested my weight on my good leg, shocked by how much the weight of my body pressured my wounds. It'd been a long time since I was hurt so badly, and even longer since I went this long without healing treatments. With my good arm around his waist, I tried to take a step forward, but the slightest weight on my left leg nearly sent me to my knees.

  "I told you," Nash said and scooped me up despite my protests.

  "I need to walk."

  "Quiet." He carried me into the hallway. "You need to be in bed."

  "Nash–" My voice died when I saw Elsie walking swiftly toward us.

  "You're going to battle?" Her voice quivered with anxiety. Reddened eyes stared back at me, a sign that she either cried too much or slept too little. The strength she showed during the attack filled my memory and I weakly reached a hand to her, desperate to hold her close.

  "You're awake," I said. "Are you okay? We haven't been able to talk."

  "Am I okay?" She looked up Nash. "Daddy, I don't want her to go. I don't want either of you to go."

  Shit.

  "Let's go back to the room," I said.

  In the greatest act of self-control, I hid the awful pain of Nash lowering me into bed, and I patted the spot beside me. Elsie hesitated before climbing up, looking as angry as she was scared. I pulled her down to lie beside me like she used when she was little. To my surprise, she didn't protest.

  Nash sat beside her, hand on her arm.

  "You never should have gone through what you did," I said.

  Her father took her hand now. "What happened is not something that happens every day. I know you're young, so you don't have much to look back on to compare it to, but this is not something that is going to happen again.

  "You don't know that." Elsie didn't look at either of us. She laid against me with her eyes closed and her cheeks damp against me. "I know you and Ma need to fight, but it's too soon. Can't we just stay together for a few more days?"

  Her little voice broke my heart. Her legs reached further than they did a few years ago, but she was not long removed from that little girl who used to get scared during storms and climb between us at night, claiming she wanted to protect us, when she just didn't want to be alone.

  "You're the bravest girl I've ever met," I whispered. "I don't want to make you be brave again."

  "It's all different now, isn't it?" Elsie sniffled. "Things aren't going back to how they were."

  "This isn't for you to worry about yet," Nash said. "Your Ma and I have been fighting in wars since before you were born. We know how to do this. We survived all of those battles, and we'll survive the ones that are coming. Believe in us and don't be afraid."

  Elsie lifted her face and looked at me. "Ma was dying. I saw all that blood just pouring out of her." Sobs shook her thin shoulders now. "Don't leave me. I'm not ready."

  Nash drew the girl up and held her in a firm embrace. If I spoke, I didn't trust my voice not to crack, but he somehow always kept his sounding strong, even when I knew his heart was breaking. "We will never leave you, Elsie." He clasped her head and rocked her gently. "We're alive today because we're strong together. We all survived together. I won't let anyone hurt my baby girl."

  "What about you?" She cried hard against him. "Who will keep you from getting hurt?"

  "You're too little to remember," he said firmly. "But your Ma and I have faced much worse than this before. You watch our history every year at the ceremony, so you know. Our enemies surprised us, but we won't be caught off guard again." Nash pulled her face back and wiped her cheeks. "Don't you know who your Ma and Dad are?"

  Elsie nodded.

  "Then you know not to be afraid."

  "I thought I was a warrior, but I'm just scared." Elsie squeezed her eyes shut. "I was so scared and I'm even more scared now."

  "Warriors are always scared," I said. "I get so scared sometimes, my powers go crazy, and I get sucked away to the past. I've been scared my whole life, Elsie. Does that mean I'm not a warrior?"

  "No."

  I scratched her back while her dad continued to hug her. "Warriors don't surrender to fear, but that doesn't mean we can't take a break either." My kingdom needed me in battle so desperately that I subjected Nash to the suffering of seeing me go in this condition. I knew he could handle it. Elsie was still so young, though. And she'd just been through something horrible. "If you need me to take a break and stay home with you, I will."

  Elsie ripped away from Nash and twisted to look at me with wide eyes. "Really?"

  It killed me to say the words because this would hurt our warriors. "Yes. You're my girl."

  Desperation danced in her eyes. She needed me and she needed time with me after having to stand up to defend us both from death. Slowly, her head lowered and though her cries quieted, they sounded much more guttural than before.

  "Go," Elsie said. Her hands came over her face. "Go protect us like you always have."

  I pushed myself up on my elbows, unable to silence the gasp from the terrible pain stabbing into my body. I didn't let it stop me though. Nash reached to help me as I forced myself to sit up. I took Elsie into my arms, my weight falling against her, pushing us both against Nash. I needed to hold our daughter and this was the best I could do.

  "I love you." I struggled in a ragged breath and rested my head against hers. "I promise I'm coming home."

  "Me too," Nash said. "I'll get us home."

  We held Elsie as she cried.